Everything happens for a reason. It may be a good reason or a bad reason. You may like the reason or not like it at all. You might understand why things happen or never understand why, and so it remains a mystery. The fact is, things always happen for a reason. Understand the reason or not, love it or hate it, when the pleasures or the pains are over, when you are ready, instead of pursuing the reason for which there may never be an answer, be sure to look for the gift in what has happened so that you integrate and learn from the experience.
If your husband leaves you for another woman, the pain of betrayal will be deep and profound. It can be hell. Naturally, the other woman will be overjoyed. It will be heaven for a while, but then the fear of losing her man to another woman will soon replace the initial joy. Her pleasure will pass and your pain will too, if you let it. The way to move through pain, grief, loss and even change is to heal it. One way to do that is to look for the gift in what happened. You have to be ready to do this.
What is the gift in betrayal? What strengths and resources were you forced to develop as a result of being betrayed? Did you learn to manage your finances better, and as a result, you’ve increased your financial power? Did you return to study and get a degree to improve your job prospects, and as a consequence, you’ve increased your intellectual power and survival power? Did you teach your daughter how to be an independent person who can have it all, but not all at once, like you desperately tried to do? By example, you taught someone special how to empower herself. Did you learn to nurture yourself, take charge of your life, stand up for yourself, and be true to yourself? These are your gifts, brought to you via your husband’s exit, and the other woman’s entrance into your life.
You have to be ready to be grateful for what happened. When you have put enough distance between you and the experience then you are ready for grace to enter your life. You can accept the gifts it brings. Once you realise your gifts, your heart opens up to one of life’s greatest gifts.
The ultimate gift in betrayal is forgiveness: To be graced with the ability to forgive others, for them to forgive you, and for you to forgive yourself. Gratitude and forgiveness are also some of life’s reasons why things happen as they do. Out of the mud grows the lotus flower. Out of the bad you will grow some good.