A healthy self-esteem means you know your own worth. It means you have accepted your right to be, to do and to have what is important to you. Self-esteem can be instilled in you when you’re young, but if you missed out on a regular dose of it, then as an adult, the health of your self-esteem is up to you.
If you’re an adult reading this, and you know you need to improve the health of your self-esteem, then you’re going to need a massive push to do it. At this point in your life, nothing but a shove in the right direction is going to work. If you prefer a softer option, then you should seek professional help. If you need more self-esteem, then at your age, there is no room for mincing words. For a start, you have to:
- Stop taking on too many responsibilities
- Stop avoiding responsibility
- Stop compromising your boundaries
- Stop over-stepping your boundaries
- Stop minimising realistic expectations
- Stop nursing unrealistic expectations
- Stop anticipating disapproval
- Stop seeking approval
- Stop making unfair comparisons
- Stop dismissing fair opportunities
Then you have to:
- Take care of you first, then others next. No exceptions.
- Say ‘no’ more often, at least until you stop choking on it.
- Identify your character strengths and your weaknesses. For every weakness, match it with a strength.
- Identify your personal values and what’s really important to you.
- Visualise the consequences of the outcome of every decision you are about to make.
- Ensure that positive intentions guide your decisions.
- Identify prior evidence that supports your current position, or your goal or your dreams.
- Make goals that are specific, quantifiable, quality, personally meaningful, achievable, realistic and time framed.
- When you reach your goals, congratulate yourself and everyone involved in the process and outcome.
You know what to do. Stop rejecting your right to be, do and have what’s important to you. Start accepting your right to be good, do good and have a good time. How badly do you want to improve your self-esteem? How badly do you want your self-esteem to remain poor instead of rich? Which one are you giving permission to win?