Your time and energy suffer in the hands of words such as “ should” and “must.” Both words are best used with caution. “ Should” and “must” tend to override the need for self care. Using these types of words too often can restrict your health. They lure you into taking on too many responsibilities, so you try to do too much. Then you end up running out of time and energy. Chronic, ingrained stress is detrimental to your long-term health.
Excessive use of the words, “ should” and “must”:
- Push your personal boundaries too far
- Tempt you to compromise your values
- Ask you to avoid appropriate confrontation
- Suggest you deny or suppress the truth
- Appeal to your urge to control too much
- Charm you into being a perfectionist
- Render you a pushover
- Set you up for disappointment, betrayal or rejection
- Reduce your motivation and willpower
- Overwhelm common sense
- Obscure your intuition
- Suppress healthy survival instincts
Common sense suggests that if you barely have the time or energy to take care of you, then you won’t have enough time and energy to take care of others. And vice versa. There are many willing to take advantage of those who put themselves last all the time. When allowing others to take advantage of your generous nature too often, be aware that you’re training them to behave this way. You’re teaching them how to treat you. Be aware that you’re playing a lead role in your loss of time, and your loss of energy.
You might wonder why you don’t, or can’t, or won’t heal some illnesses. If you get sick when you don’t have enough energy, you are not going to have enough energy to heal. You will also be short of time. Sometimes you run out of time to heal.
Some people appear to be too good to be true. If you constantly take advantage of the good nature of others, then you may also be playing a role in their loss of time and energy. Unless there is a fair and equal exchange of time and energy between you, then you are taking up their time. You are taking their energy. You are taking their power, but you don’t get to keep it.
Draining others of their time and energy does not mean you gain from the process. You might get an initial boost from it, but the low that follows will be lower each time. The time and energy you’ve stolen from others does not belong to you. The time and energy you’ve tried to pocket sits waiting for your prey to retrieve it. Their power awaits them, not you.
When your time is up, your energy goes with it. Too often, too many good-natured people die before their time. They don’t know how to say yes to themselves, and no to others, more often. Don’t be one of them.