I used to think it was good spiritual practice to stop taking things personally, to be detached, surrender, let go and all that, but I have recently changed my mind. Especially after I read a number of articles that suggested we should stop giving away our fucks.
I tried to stop giving a fuck, so I decided to stop taking things personally. When I stopped taking things personally, I stopped feeling the pain of an insult and other hurtful behaviour. That was good. I got to keep all of my fucks to myself. I was hoarding a heap of fucks.
The problem was, that when I stopped feeling the pain, I noticed that I stopped feeling altogether. I stopped feeling compassion for the pain others felt. I stopped showing empathy for their pain too.
And where did all the emotional pain go? Into my body. I was storing the fucks in my body. I was getting fat on fucks.
I began to realise, after unsuccessfully trying to shift the extra weight these fucks were generating in my body, that when I didn’t take things personally, all I was really doing was avoiding my humanity. And when I avoided my humanity, I avoided the whole of humanity.
Now, I realise that by taking things personally, I don’t need to dwell there for too long, but I can’t afford to stop taking things personally. It is better that I feel offended. It is better that I am hurt. It is better that I am upset. It is better that I give a fuck. Or two.
It is better that I am true to my feelings.
It is better that I am true to myself.
I’m a generous person. It’s natural for me to give a fuck. In fact, I often give a flying fuck. I also give a shit. I usually go one step further and give two shits. Giving a flying fuck gets things done. Giving two shits makes things happen. Shit changes. With change comes transformation. Shit transforms into no shit.
Healing is possible. No shit.
So lately, my advice is this: Be offended. Be very offended. Be hurt. Be upset. Be true to you. Give a fuck.
When you stop giving a fuck, nothing changes. When you stop giving two shits, everything stays the same. You get stuck in the shit. Then you have to lose your shit to get out of the shit. All because you didn’t give a shit when you could have easily given two shits. If you don’t want anything to change, then stop taking things personally.