What is My Purpose?

Until I defined my values, I did not know my life’s purpose. I thought I knew my purpose, but I learned that life’s purpose is not a job. Life’s purpose is to be, not to do.

Choose your values. Choose your purpose. Manifest your life purpose.

Life’s purpose is not a job. Life’s purpose is to be, not to do.

I watched as life’s purpose chose others but not me. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me. Life’s purpose had not yet chosen me. Why not? Was I not good enough? Was I too young? Not smart enough? Was my ego too big or too small? By the time I reached mid-forties, I realised that I could choose my life’s purpose. I could decide what it would be. I claimed my life purpose because it had not claimed me.

I relied on my values to help me do it. What I valued most became my life purpose. I valued honesty, so I decided that is my purpose. I would be honest. I valued honour, so I decided that honour is my purpose. I would be honourable. I valued creativity, so I made creativity my purpose. I would be creative.

Where before I thought I had no purpose, now I had so many I started to feel overwhelmed. I felt compelled to demonstrate my values but I was immobilised by them until I began to apply one value at a time to each situation in my life. Situations such as family, relationships, health, work, financial, social and cultural became the ground on which I built my purpose.

There was a sense of freedom that overcame me when I realised that my life’s purpose was my choice. I had chosen my values and I was free to choose my purpose. By applying my values, I was fulfilling my purpose. I manifested my purpose.

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Four Ways to Handle a Complainer

Complaining is draining. It drains the life out of those who are forced to listen to it. Complaining also drains the complainer. Incessant complaining can transform the complainer and their audience into helpless victims. Complaining means blaming instead of taking on an equal share of responsibility for the problem. Blaming diminishes personal power, whereas taking personal responsibility can increase it.

 

Power returns instead of draining into the situation and those involved in it when you commit to finding a solution.

Blaming drains personal power. Taking on a fair share of responsibility for a problem tends to increase it. Image by Benno Poeder

For me, taking responsibility begins by supervising my complaints. When I decide to supervise my complaints, it’s becomes easier for me to take responsibility for them and their impact on how I feel. My complaints have the power to influence how I feel, so I end up feeling negative when I complain. My negative feelings affect my behaviour and performance in a negative way, but if I supervise my complaints, I have the potential to improve the way I experience my life. After all, it’s my life and I am responsible for the way I manage it.

There are four ways that I use to handle complaining. If I find myself complaining about a situation, I use it as a trigger to remind me to respond in one or more of the following ways:

  1. I can change the situation,
  2. I can change my perspective about it,
  3. I can accept the situation as it is, or
  4. I can leave the situation.

I can also use this approach if I find myself at the receiving end of a complainer. When I commit to one of these responses, my power flows back to me instead of draining into the situation and those involved in it.

Finding out how I change the situation, or how I change my perspective about it, or how I accept the situation, or how I leave the situation is the next step, but when I take responsibility for the problem, and I choose one of the four options to manage it, then my energy levels tend to go up. It gives me the boost I need to work out how to do what I need to do. Handling complaints begins when I decide to supervise them. This puts me in a position of personal power that eases me into taking responsibility for my role in the problem. It frees me up to choose one of four ways to manage the situation. Identifying how I will do that may be a challenge, but by taking responsibility and pursuing one option, I have regained my energy. Then how I do what I have chosen to do is often revealed to me.

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Good Luck is Hardly a Matter of Luck

Good luck is more than just a matter of luck. I believe it’s possible to create our own good fortune. I’m inclined to think that good luck has less to do with self-belief and more to do with the quality of our expectations. Positive expectations tend to produce better outcomes. Negative expectations tend to produce poor outcomes. Negative expectations feed self-sabotage.

Good luck is hardly a matter of luck

Good luck is not just a matter of luck. Good luck is a matter of good planning.

I arrived at the belief that it’s possible to generate our own good luck after I made a personal plan for good luck and then put it into action. Given the nature of my work, which encompasses the body, soul and spirit, I made my good luck plan holistic. I reasoned that if I could make a plan that satisfies my body, soul and spirit, and I implemented the plan, then I could expect to see the outcomes that I wanted.

And I did. A plan for good luck helped me to realise that good luck was possible. Having a plan for good luck encouraged me to expect good luck. Instead of expecting bad luck, I began to expect good luck. A plan for good luck helped to boost my self-esteem and self-belief. The more good luck I had, the easier it was for me to believe in my ability to create it. The more good luck I had, the less self sabotage kicked in.

A plan for good luck helped me to focus my body, soul and spirit on good luck. My plan for good luck trained me to acknowledge the negatives in life but focus on the positives. It taught me to be aware of the negatives so I could manage self-sabotage.

Good luck is hardly a matter of luck. Good luck should be a matter of planning. Good luck transpired because I planned for it. I expected good luck, so I was able to believe that good luck was possible. In the process, I managed to circumvent a great deal of self-sabotage. Once I had a plan for good luck I began to expect it to happen, because it was a part of my plan.

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The Secret is to Know Thy Archetypes

Archetypes are my favourite subject. As a trainer, mentor and author on the topic, it’s always a pleasure for me to write about archetypes. We can use archetypes as a tool to access our hidden powers and potential.

Archetypes invite us to explore our potential

Archetypes help us to connect to our internal source of wisdom so that we can live life from the inside out instead of the outside in.

I like to think of each archetype as a mirror for self-reflection. Self-reflection is the ability to observe our thoughts, feelings and behaviour in an objective manner. We can use self-reflection to improve self-awareness and increase self-knowledge. Knowledge is power, so I think it’s safe to say that self-knowledge is personal power.

Archetypes show us our power. When we identify our twelve personal archetypes, we have access to a hall of mirrors. We can make our way through the hall, and pause in front of each mirror to examine our reflection. We have the opportunity to laugh at ourselves, to be compassionate with ourselves, or we might be disturbed by what we see. Whatever we see, we learn something new about ourselves because archetypes are an unlimited source of information. Archetypes help us to connect to our internal source of wisdom so that we can live life from the inside out instead of the outside in.

On the surface, the quest for self-awareness might seem to be self indulgent, but greater self-awareness can improve the choices we make. In turn, our choices influence how we experience life, and how we interact with others and the environment.

The power of archetypes is a secret worth sharing.  Archetypes are patterns, and patterns can be read. We can read the patterns in nature. We can read the patterns in our behaviour. A pattern can be analysed. A pattern can be changed. A pattern can tell us about the past, the present and the future. Once we recognise a pattern, we can apply our insights so that we create change for the better.

Archetypes invite us to explore our potential; to recognise our potential; to accept our potential; and most of all to honour our potential, even if we can’t see it yet.

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3 Ways to Fulfill Your Life Purpose

Finding my life purpose was one quest I felt compelled to conquer. So I did it. Eventually. Then I soon found out that fulfilling my life purpose was the next challenge.

3 Challenges in Fulfilling Your Life Purpose by Gail Goodwin March 2016

Once you find your life purpose, the next challenge is to apply it everyday

When people ask me about their life purpose, I usually say that broadly speaking, our purpose is to love, to serve, and to heal ourselves and others. Applying our life purpose is another matter.

It’s always going to be a challenge, but over time, I get better at fulfilling it. This is how I do it to the satisfaction of my conscience:

  1. By identifying, managing and supporting an appropriate sense of responsibility in myself and others
  2. By identifying, managing and supporting appropriate personal boundaries in myself and others
  3. By identifying, managing and supporting a sense of personal honour and integrity in myself and others

These strategies help to minimise the many ways I tend to sabotage myself, or I sabotage others or they sabotage me. They also help me to maximise my ability to determine my future in a way that is loving and serving and healing for me, and for others.

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New Job Vacancy: Chairman of The Bored at Fear Incorporated

Life is a bit too ordinary when there are no challenges. Fear makes life dull. Life becomes overwhelming. Fear makes life frightening. Fear makes me anxious. Far too often, I let my fear of failure, fear of losing, and the fear of making a mistake corral me into playing it safe. These fears have the power to keep me stuck, instead of moving on, or making progress.

Vacancy for Chairman of the Bored at Fear Incorporated

I’m not bored so I’m no longer Chairman of the Bored

Challenges are good for us. They help us to grow and evolve. Challenges wouldn’t be challenging if they didn’t contain learning, and learning means having a go, getting it right, getting it wrong and making corrections. When I make a mistake I learn.

If I don’t make any mistakes I don’t learn anything new, so I can’t increase my knowledge. I’d have very little to bring to my life’s experience. Without mistakes there would be no challenges. Without challenges there would be no learning. Learning means change is inevitable, and change can be frightening because we don’t always know what’s ahead, but without learning there is nothing new to add to life.

If I complain that my life lacks meaning or it needs more purpose, then I can blame my fear of failure, fear of mistakes, and fear of losing for the problem. These fears may have been instilled in me when I was younger and reinforced throughout the course of my life, but they are all mine now. I own them. They live inside my head. They affect my thinking. They impact my mood and how I feel. They put stress on various parts of my body, but as a fully functioning adult, I’m now the only one responsible for doing something about these fears.

To accept a challenge, my fear of failure needs to be smaller than my desire to learn. Learning something new happens when I’m challenged. If I didn’t make any mistakes, then I would reinforce the status quo. I would maintain my intellectual status quo. If I didn’t make any mistakes, my character would not strengthen. My mind would not evolve. My thinking would stagnate. I would complain about being stuck. I would be stuck because I am not prepared to make a mistake. This would stop me from learning something new. I can’t afford to be afraid of making a mistake. I must be willing to learn something new. I might wrestle with wanting to learn, while at the same time, I don’t want to make a mistake. The logical part of me knows that making mistakes is not the only way to learn, but it is a part of the learning process if I want to perfect what I’m doing.

Can I accept that I will make mistakes so that I learn something new? Am I ready to accept it? Am I willing to accept it? If I don’t, then I won’t make any mistakes, but without mistakes, there will be no challenges in life my life. There will be no learning. Do I hate to make a mistake more than I want to learn? Do I hate to fail more than I want to win? There have been times when I’ve not participated because I hated to fail more than I wanted to win. It’s too easy to avoid participating in an activity when there is a good chance of failing at it.

Do I hate rejection more than I want acceptance? Do I hate humiliation more than I want reassurance, or even self-assurance and benefit of increased self worth? My desire to learn must outrun my dislike of making a mistake. My desire to win has to be greater than my fear of losing.

For years, my fear of losing has been greater than my desire to win. I’ve played it safe for a long time. I need to keep learning something new if I want my desire to win to beat my fear of losing. If I can reduce my fear of failure by increasing my willingness to learn, then maybe I can increase my chances of winning in the end?

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If You’re a People Pleaser Then You May Have Trouble Sticking To Those New Year’s Resolutions

I often wonder if one of the reasons why it’s not easy to stick to a New Years resolution might have more to do with the people pleaser’s fear of success or fear of failure, and less to do with a lack of personal discipline.

New year's resolutions take strength of character to stand up for yourself and what’s important to you

Sticking to your new year’s resolutions takes strength of character, and if you don’t have it, then go get some before you begin

When the definition of success means winning, then it’s easy to assume that failing is about losing. Nobody wants to be a loser, so we strive to win. The problem becomes one where winning creates losers. And losers can be jealous.

Being successful means there’s a good chance that others are not going to like you. You might be risking your popularity. What type of person is prepared to risk being unpopular?

If being successful means others might not like you, what do you do? You can get stuck going around in circles here because failing can mean you might end up not liking yourself.

Is it about winning and losing? Why can’t it be a win/win? Maybe this time you have to stop trying to please everyone. How could it be a win/win? Why do you persist in trying to please everyone?

It’s far too hard to be a people pleaser and expect success with a new year’s resolution. It creates too much pressure. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You can’t be a people pleaser this year because you need this people pleasing energy for you. You need it so that you can be true to you. Sticking to new year’s resolutions takes guts. It takes strength of character to be able to stand up for yourself and what’s really important to you. If you don’t have the strength of character to do this, then develop some first, before putting yourself through another round of failed resolutions.

If your new year’s resolution is a matter of health, then it may come down to choosing between others not liking you or you not liking you. Who’s going to win? Who do you please? Will it be them, or will it be you?

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